Space

I feel the space closing in.

Not physical space, but the mental space. My mental space to experiment and make mistakes.

I was suffering back then, but yet I was free. I created a space to explore my thoughts and share it, to do what I please with my eyes and hands, and to own it.

Now I am okay, yet I feel trapped. It feels like anything I put out can be my downfall. To reveal a bit too far, to be vulnerable. It feels like now, there’s too much on the line.

“The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself…That is the moment, you might be starting to get it right.”

Neil Gaiman

I hate this feeling. To be vulnerable is being open to be wrong, and to be really right in the ways that is not possible by being safe.

Yet now it seems like there is so much to lose.

Is it worth it?